you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
