Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
