A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
