Small penises have feelings too.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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