legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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