We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
