so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
