Nicole vs. Life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
