ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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