Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
