You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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