; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
