I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
