At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
