I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
