My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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