I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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