I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
