I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
