he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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