Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
