Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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