I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
God, I missed his penis.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
