ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
