His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
