My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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