Girls should come with a carfax report
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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