similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
