Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
