im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
