So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this just has baby written all over it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
