Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
