Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
MIDGETS
????
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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