My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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