Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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