every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
