Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorry my hands just texted you
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
