At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
be right there i have to get my cape
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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