I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
