Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize