I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
