I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
