This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.