Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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