You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
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I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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