YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
