There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
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Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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