And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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