Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
