Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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