Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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