Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I would fuck him just for his dog
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
