Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
