...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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