So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize