Don't you send me to vm
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
