why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
