It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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