My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
