all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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