before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
