You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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