it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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